"There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the ground... and there are a thousand ways to go home again.”
― Rumi
"With all things and in all things, we are relatives."
― Native American (Sioux) Proverb
We are in the air. Aloft. Heading home finally -home!- and the next chapter in this odyssey awaits.
Before our discharge from Boston Children's the other day I took a short walk in the most spiritual place that has ever spoken to me. Mt. Auburn Cemetery is an old beautiful garden on the edges of Cambridge with crumbling ancient gravestones, large and deep-rooted willowy trees, historical heft with each carved stone, nature, water, light, and the whispers of the wind. It was a sanctuary for me in college especially during harder times, and it is the closest I have ever felt to a church that I could call my own. I am not religious per se, and often envy those who are: I yearn for that certain knowledge and confidence that the world has a plan for you, for itself, that there is a reason for the evil that happens, the crucibles we are all forced to bear. While I pray in my own way, I do not believe God has a plan for me, I do not believe that "he" only gives me what I am capable of handling. I admire those who do believe that, and I know it serves them well. I do think I would be a happier, stronger person if I had that level of faith.
I stopped short on my quick walk through this sanctuary as I came upon a large gravestone with a very familiar name, pictured here below. I don't think these are James's ancestors, but it felt like a powerful message nonetheless and a hopeful one; not a bleak harbinger of something dire to come, but a reminder that we are all family, we are all connected, that humanity is rooted deep. As the garden cemetery-sanctuary can attest, I have always thought of nature as my church and spiritual reservoir rather than any organized religion: mountains, ocean, light, air, waves, tides, trees, rock, stone. As we look out the window of the plane right at this moment, we can see Half Dome in Yosemite - quite a force of nature in and of itself. The mountains and lakes below us now are stunning, and clouds soft and powerful all at once. And I realize that nature is still my church, but the people we love are as well. The friends and family who have been with us on this journey could not feel any more like my spiritual tether to this world.
And for the many of you who have gone so far above and beyond - you know who you are - you have given us roots, and you have given us wings. At this very moment, we are aloft: buoyed up on the wave of air and light and currents of love and support from friends as we alight on the flight home with James safely tethered in - and as close to the heavens as I can ever imagine getting in this mortal life. We are so blessed. The gratitude and love I feel is immense, and dare I say ... even holy??
P.S. Three hours later as I submit this journal: We have touched down. A wonderful reunion with Nonnie as we stepped off the plane, and now Grace, James, Charlie and I are together under one roof -home!- with a bounty of food, flowers, continuous reminders both pragmatic and spiritual of the healing energy and reserves of strength we have drawn from all of you. Quite an amazing homecoming, with artistic flags and notes of welcome home to James adorning the outside of the house. Again ... we are so blessed. We love you all. Thank you.
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